This weekend was NV's weekend with his two daughters. I love these weekends because I don't want more kids, but I love having girls to do hair and nails with. Jayden loves the girls as well, which makes the time we spend with them that much better.
With the rain cancelling our plans to go to the zoo, we stayed at NV's mother's house, instead of mine. In place of the zoo, Saturdy afternoon was spent watching Rio at the movie theater. I must admit I may have enjoyed the movie more than the kids. My son laughed throughout the movie. There are many scenes that involve falling down, or bumping into things. Since my son is similar to the little boy on Big Daddy, with Adam Sandler, he thoroughly enjoyed the movie. When Jayden's happy, I'm happy.
Aside from the movie, I basically lounged around the house like a hibernating bear. Rainy days tend to have that effect on me. I did get to spend some time working on my blogs though, which is always a plus.
Despite my lack of activity, I'm tired. When we stay at NV's parents', Jayden and I sleep in the same room. I don't mind this, usually. However, when he decides that the day should begin at 5am, it makes for a rough day. Jayden almost always wakes up in a cheerful mood, which I'm thankful for. Thankful or not, I was AWAKE, and have been since 5am.
"Why don't you go to sleep now?" One might ask. Because I drank coffee all day today and now I'm wide awake. Lord willing, working on this post will help me sleep. On the other hand, I hope it doesn't put any of my readers to sleep lol.
My lack of activity ended up creating an abundace of self reflection this weekend. It was pointed out that I'm often times defensive and combative. This has never been a secret to me, but it never dawned on me that maybe this is a behavior that should be changed. I wouldn't say I agree with completely giving these mannerisms up. Since I'm a female in the Army, I have to fight to prove myself, and I'm raising a disabled child, so I have to fight to get what he needs. In settings like this, defensiveness and combative-ness serve me well. In interacting with other people, not so much. With that being said, I've decided to try and change these traits in a way that benefits me when circumstances call for it, but to not take these stances instantly every time I think someone is saying something negative to me. (After all, they usually aren't. Critisism and negativity are not the same thing). For those readers that know me, please don't seek me out tomorrow expecting these changes to have already taken effect. It doesn't work that way.
On a lighter note, I'm looking forward to the week ahead, even the work portion of it. I'd by lying if I said I loved every minute of my job. Most people would be. I do however, love the experiences I've gained in the military, and the friends I've made. Thanks to the Army, I have traveled the world, and participated in a war that future generations will read about in history books years from now. There isn't single material item that I'd trade my experiences, my Army family, or most of all... my son for. No matter how bad my day has been, it all goes away when I pick him up from daycare. I was a Soldier before I was a mother, but long after I sign my DD 214 (discharge document), I'll still be Jayden's mother. THAT can never change, and I'd never want it to.
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